My call to become a doula started when I found out I was pregnant. I became immersed in all things physiological birth. I wanted a home birth in my little home surrounded by trees and quiet. I binged the Birthful podcast, hosted by a well known doula, Adriana Lozada. At 32 weeks, I was referred to a hospital due to a problem with baby.

Little did I know that I was going to have a very medicalized birth with every intervention short of an epidural and a c-section with only hours to prepare. I was induced at 36 weeks, starting with misoprostol, foley balloon, broken waters, then pitocin. The birth was a success, but they told us baby needed time in the NICU.

In the following 19 days, I was in a haze of postpartum healing, totally overstimulated from all the lights, beeping, doctors, pumping every 3 hours, and the rollercoaster of news about my brand new baby. We were staying in UCSF’s family house, which is for families with long term patients at the hospital. Braving the cold every morning at 6am to get to the NICU for his 6:15 feeding. It was so much more than my mind and body could handle. I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water, using hospital bathrooms, and dealing with my baby being attached to I.V.’s and wires. My saving grace was my mom and partner who were feeding me, keeping my water bottle full, brewing tea, and didn’t leave mine or baby’s side.

I needed a few months after being home to process the experience (I still am). But it made me think about how the birth was such a big deal (which it is!), but nobody checked on ME after I was discharged 2 days later. I saw a big need in the postpartum space, a time when moms are raw, vulnerable, and feel forgotten. Mundane tasks like cooking, communicating, and showering can seem overstimulating and impossible.

I want to lighten the mental load, make nourishing food, draw herbal baths, take walks, offer belly binding, womb massage, and do whatever it takes to make it feel easeful. It will look different for every family!